En kund till mina kollegor i Australien beskriver vad prostitution handlar om i en artikel i Sydney Morning Herald – Let’s get a full head around paying for it . Kunden ifråga, Sam de Brito, är författare och hans enormt populära blogg All Men Are Liars utsågs till Australiens och Nya Zeelands bästa blogg 2006.
Sam menar, precis som jag och många med mig i sexbranschen, att en överenkommelse mellan mig och en kund är skönt ärlig i jämförelse med vad som händer på den riktiga köttmarkanden på krogen och på Internet communitys för att ”hitta den rätte”.
Earlier this year I visited a prostitute for one obvious, practical reason and another less so: I’m sick of lying to women. Being single and in my 30s, I find it increasingly difficult to justify the lies and manipulation involved in having a sexual relationship with women who I’m not in love with. …
Political correctness tells me I should be ashamed of visiting a sex-worker but I’m not. Despite what some people would have you believe, men do not control the sexual spigot at my local pub. Women are the guardians of that flow and while they may torture and bankrupt themselves with dieting, beauty regimes and cosmetic surgery to maintain that influence, men exhaust themselves accruing wealth and power with which to purchase their attraction in the marketplace known as matrimony.
Prostitution pares this transaction back to its base elements. An estimated one in six Australian men have at some point in their life visited a sex worker, according to the Australian Study of Health and Relationships conducted by La Trobe University.
But it is something blokes will rarely admit to and this stigma radiates directly from the prostitute, a woman whose career choice is sneered at by most and condescended to by the rest.
Critics of the sex industry, such as the US conservative Hadley Arkes, say that prostitution ”inescapably implies that the intimacy of sexual intercourse need not be connected to any authentic sentiment of love and that it need not take place in a setting marked by the presence of commitment.
”In that sense it might be said that prostitution patronises the corruption of physical love: it reduces physical love to the kind of hydraulic action that animals may share, and as it does that it detaches the act of intercourse from the kind of love that is distinctly human.”
The obvious reply to this is why does sex have to be so damn serious and why do I have to be in love to indulge in it? That’s the rub, I guess, because though meaningless sex can be good fun, it’s transcendent when you’re in love.
The reaction was not surprising and I received a tonne of emails from critics and supporters, including two offers from high-class call girls to do the job properly (thinking, thinking) and a mighty spray from Herald cartoonist Cathy Wilcox.
The reason I wrote the piece seemed lost on some readers so to clarify, it was thus: if you’re honest in the dating game, i.e. you say to women, ”I’m just interested in a sexual relationship”, you will have a lot less success than if you lie, or omit the truth, i.e. intimate you may be interested in a relationship.
To my thinking, visiting a sex worker is a lot more honest than pretending you’re in to someone so you can lure them to bed.
I’m not ashamed of visiting a prostitute and many of the people who tut-tut about the sex industry are still happy to get their thrills reading about it as evidenced by my piece being the the most-read article on the entire SMH site, Monday.